Here goes nothing...

All right, here goes. I'm quite nervous about this, actually, since this is my first-ever Eroica fic, and the connection to "correspondence" is quite tenuous (although it is there, in both senses).


Cooperation (An Eroica/Fillmore crossover)

As the nondescript blue car pulled up outside the post office, its occupants noted that the area had already been sealed off with yellow tape. Nodding in approval, Agent A got out and ducked under the tape, followed by the shorter Agent B.

The post office had been burgled early that morning, and some NATO documents had been in the bags of mail that were stolen. They were nothing sensitive or crucial, thankfully, but the Major was furious at "the sloppy security of these damned Americans!" and had dispatched two of his agents to take over the investigation. The Chief had agreed, but with the condition that they should cooperate with the local authorities.

"Hold it right there!"

A young girl's voice, sharp with authority, stopped A in his tracks. He and B turned to stare at the vision that presented itself to them.

"That's an official police line, no civilians can cross it until the investigation is over." A girl in a black dress and orange sash told them, arms crossed sternly. She could hardly be more than thirteen, but her shoulder-length black hair, intense green eyes, and icy expression gave her an eerie resemblance to Major Eberbach.

A shook off the strange impression and took out his badge. "We're NATO agents, here to look into the theft. Look, little girl,"--he noticed that she arched a cold eyebrow at that--"could you tell us where the policemen in charge are?"

The girl flipped out a badge. "X Middle School Safety Patrol. Officer Ingrid Third. We're in charge of this investigation."

"Sorry? You're what?"

"Last night, a note was mailed from X Middle School to the parents of one Daniel Baker. It requested his parents to come to a Parent-Teacher conference, at which they would have learned of the numerous crimes Baker has committed around the school. Baker was desperate to stop the note--desperate enough, we think, to break into this post office and try to steal it."

"Well, miss--uh, Officer Third," A stumbled, trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, "thank you for..uh...starting your investigation so promptly, but I think that you had better let us take over now. We're professionals, and much more experienced...after all, you're just a school safety patrol..."

"You're not getting rid of us that easily," Ingrid interrupted firmly. "The X Middle School charter has a provision from City Hall stating that the Safety Patrol has the same authority as any regular police force within our own jurisdiction. And the Safety Patrol handbook states that any crime committed by an X Middle School student is clearly under our..."

A and B shared a bewildered glance as the girl began quoting regulations from memory, simultaneously thinking that their day had just gotten very surreal.

~*~

When Klaus stormed into the post office a few hours later, he stopped dead with astonishment at the sight of the place full of children, and two morose Alphabets dusting for fingerprints under the direction of a young girl with, of all things, pink streaks in her hair.

"A! B! What is going on here?" he roared.

The agents jumped at least a foot, and B clutched at his chest to ward off a heart attack.

"M-major..." stammered A.

"What the HELL is all this?"

A shut his eyes tightly, knowing he was doomed. "Uh...cooperating with the local police force? ...sir?"

Klaus drew breath to begin a furious tirade, but a firm voice from behind him interrupted.

"Excuse me, sir, but if you're a civilian you're going to have to leave."

The Major rounded angrily on Officer Third, and the Alphabets cringed in horrified anticipation.

When no shouting ensued, they dared to sneak a peek at what was happening. The Major and the girl were staring at each other, and the eerie resemblance between them hit the Alphabets anew.

"...Cousin Klaus?" the girl finally said in tones of disbelief.



...-_-;
I know it isn't really snappy enough to stand by itself as a short humor story, but I'm actually thinking of it as a sort of experiment...testing the waters, if you will, to see if anyone would actually be interested in me expanding this into a longer fic with an actual plot, where NATO and the Safety Patrol cooperate to solve the case & retrieve the documents.
And, of course, to see if anyone else in the world actually thinks this is at all funny...or even if any other Eroica fans actually like Fillmore...-_-
Any comments, criticisms, and orders to get out until my writing skills have improved will most likely be heeded. ^_^;

My excuse for the date is that somewhere in the world, it is still June 25. ^_^;